Querying is a rough ride. In a single day, you could receive a full request, a couple of query rejections, and a partial rejection. In fact, it often feels like some cosmic coincidence causes a deluge of responses all in the same afternoon.
While living in the query trenches, self-care becomes extra important. Rejection always stings, and those full rejections are probably going to hurt most. Or that pass from a dream agent (ouch!)
When I started querying, I splurged a bit to stock up on some comfort items, and they’ve come in handy on some of those rough days.
Your self-care list may be different. Maybe it’s an old favorite comfort book and your childhood blanket, curled up by the fireplace. It could be taking the time out to play an instrument, or bake cookies, or knit while bingeing a tv show for the hundredth time… whatever thing brings you joy and helps calm your brain.
For me, this is my checklist.
A quick disclaimer: I’m not affiliated with any of the products listed below, and haven’t been approached by these companies or compensated for mentioning them. I just genuinely enjoy them.
1. Tea
There’s little that’s more soothing for me than a good cuppa. As I’m usually imbibing self-care tea in the evenings, I stick with something decaf. A lemongrass/spearmint herbal blend is a favorite.
2. Bath Bombs
I really like Da Bomb brand – they have fun little prizes inside, smell wonderful, and they’re cruelty free. The Moroccan one and the Galaxy Bomb are faves.
On a night when I receive a particularly painful rejection, I’ll spend some time soaking and just absorbing the aromatherapy.
3. Face Masks
After a good soak, I’ll pamper myself a little more with a good sheet mask. My fave are Pacifica – another cruelty-free brand and their Rose mask is so nice. I have somewhat sensitive skin and this mask is just soothing and doesn’t irritate my skin at all.
4. Chocolate
Not a surprise here, since chocolate is a go-to comfort food for many. I stock up on a handful of swanky dark chocolate bars like Vosges (ethically-sourced chocolate). They have a little mini gift box of unique flavors that I can stock up on and then distribute as-needed.
5. An Assortment of Feel-Good Cozy Movies
Whether it’s Dumplin’ or The Princess Bride, I love a comforting movie. Something with a nice happily-ever-after, one where I know how it’s all going to play out in the end. I love sitting on the couch with that aforementioned cup of tea and chocolate, and just letting my brain chill out while I enjoy a film I’ve seen a dozen times or more.
6. A Kigurumi (Weather Permitting)
These baggy animal onesies are like wearing a hug. They’re soft and warm and basically an upgraded Snuggie. In summer, they’re a bit too toasty to lounge around in, but during cooler months, there’s just something so calming about wearing one.
So what’s in your self-care checklist? How do you take care of your mental health while dealing with query rejections? Sound off in the comments!
Amy Avery / Avery Ames 