I originally posted this article a while back, but it was hastily written and not very clearly thought-out, so I’m revising and resurrecting it as part of an opinion series on various tropes.
So today… I’m gonna dissect my thoughts on Enemies-to-Lovers.
Good?
Bad?
Guilty Pleasure?
To be frank, I have mixed feelings.
I love a good villain. LOVE. I can’t possibly express my adoration of a well-crafted antagonist in a single blog post. Really, I could go on for pages about delicious baddies with messy, complicated motives.
An antagonist with complex goals can make a story. And when one of those motives is love/obsession? Even better. If the focus of that love or obsession is the hero, I’m on board.
But that being said, it needs to be messy, complex… and EQUAL.
THAT’S RIGHT. EQUAL.
Kylo/Darkling/Cardan stans, it might be time to step out now. I get where you’re coming from, but I just can’t get on board that train with you, and it’s about to leave this station.
Personally, I have a very fraught relationship with this trope. In theory, I should love the idea of it. It’s such a delicious, fertile ground for story conflict! But most of the time in fiction, I can’t stand it.
It took me a long time to figure out why.
I cannot enjoy a relationship where a gross power dynamic is glorified, in any way.
I love it when two characters are rivals–or even full-on enemies–with a romantic attraction. I eat it up with a spoon. Catwoman (depending on the story arc) and Batman? Yes, please! And the whole complicated knot that is the relationship between Milady and d’Artagnan and Athos in The Three Musketeers? It’s such a fascinating mess.
So I had to wonder… why do I adore that sort of dynamic, but despise Reylo and Darkling/Alina? (Sorry stans, but I’m allowed my opinion, too).
And finally it clicked.
Power dynamic.
In the end, it’s simple. I dislike enemies-to-lovers when one character has an exorbitant amount of control over the other. It’s not about them being on opposite sides. It’s not even about them being awful to each other. If the characters both stand on equal footing from the get-go and give as good as they get, I can enjoy stories with all sorts of machinations and mind games.
But in the examples I listed as my no-go’s, the power dynamic is not equal. It’s about Kylo tying Rey to a chair and invading her mind. Or in the case of the Darkling, putting a collar on Alina. With Cardan, it’s him threatening to kill Jude (I’m sorry, throwing in a “but he wouldn’t really have let the nixies eat her” later doesn’t change the fact that she thought she was in real danger, and he knew it).
That’s not enemies-to-lovers. That’s one person in power, with another character helpless in that person’s grasp.
That’s not sexy, to me.
What IS sexy? How about a villain saying, “I have the special macguffin you want. Now come and get it.” *blows mocking kiss*
Hate and love are two very intriguing sides of the same coin. I write a lot of ugly, complex, love-hate relationship dynamics in my own books, but inevitably the enemies respect each other as much as they drive each other up the wall.
In the bedroom, when it’s all consensual games and the submissive has the ability to opt out at any point? Let that D/s freak flag fly, y’all. But when you get down to nuts and bolts, all players need to be equal on the power scale or I’m just not down with it, and that’s the truth on that.
Amy Avery / Avery Ames 